or What happens when alpha males get together

The story goes something like this: The great Athenian hero Theseus and his best friend Pirithous, King of the Lapithae, were sitting around bored and looking for a challenge. On a whim, the newly widowed Pirithous announced that he would have the most closely guarded lady in the entire universe for his second wife–Persephone herself. Theseus pledged his support, and true to his thrill-seeking competitive nature, took up his friend’s challenge and declared that he would first carry off Helen (always Helen!)–future heroine of Troy–before he helped Pirithous abduct Persephone from the underworld.

I think it’s safe to assume that alcohol and massive egos were involved.

Theseus successfully abducted Helen (poor Helen!), but while Theseus and his friend were on their way to the underworld, Helen’s brothers, Castor and Pollux, led the Spartan army against the city that held her. They made sure to sack the city before taking Helen back to Sparta.

Few details are known about the journey to the underworld, but Hades–Persephone’s ‘husband’ and god of the underworld–was perfectly aware of Pirithous’s and Theseus’s intentions and devised a plan to thwart them. When the pair arrived, Hades didn’t kill them, as they were already in the realm of death, but rather invited them to to have a seat and rest after their long journey. As soon as they took the places Hades offered them, serpents tightly coiled around them and bound them to their seats. They had unwittingly sat on the Chair of Forgetfulness–a chair that makes a clean slate of memory and holds forever those who sit on it.

Luckily for Theseus, his cousin Heracles was passing through the underworld to finish his twelfth labor–taking Cerberus back to Mycenae. Cerberus was the three-headed dog who stood guard over the entrance to Hades, ensuring that all who crossed the River Styx were never allowed to leave. When Heracles saw the two unfortunate over-achievers, he took pity on them and managed to free Theseus. Unfortunately, Hades returned before he was able to set Pirithous loose.

Athenians are said to have such lean thighs because part of Theseus’ thighs were torn off when Heracles pulled him free from the chair.

Back in the land of sunshine, Theseus set off for Athens. But poor Pirithous, for all we know, still sits on the Chair of Forgetfulness. (O thou Memorie! So fleeting! O Despair!)

Inspired by this story, I’ve designated the beautiful bench pictured at the top of this post as my Chair of Forgetfulness. My chair is benevolent in nature and differs from the chair of legend in several key ways: it’s in a garden rather than in Hades; it’s surrounded by roses rather than serpents; and I’m free to leave whenever I want. These differences work out well for me. In this sylvan setting, saturated with the heady scent of roses, I’m able to forget just about anything.

Where is your chair?

© 2012, Ithaka Bound. All rights reserved.

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After the Athenians trounced the Persians so thoroughly at the Battle of Marathon, the Persian emperor Darius became so single-minded in his quest for vengeance, he instructed a slave to whisper in his ear three times every night while serving dinner, “Master, remember the Athenians!”

First, how could you possibly ever enjoy a dinner again when constantly being reminded of your most crushing defeat?

Second, how awesome would it be to have someone around who constantly reminded you to stay focused on your priorities! It goes without saying that I am completely against servants of any type, but if I could, I would gladly pay someone to serve this function in my life.

I’m particularly sold on this now, because for the past two months I’ve been focused on a singular goal to the exclusion of all other goals. So much so, I couldn’t even visit my parents in Wisconsin for Orthodox Christmas because it meant I would probably lose hold on my tenuous focus. I justified this by reminding myself that they would be gaining much by my success as well. I reached my goal, but my victory wasn’t quite as resounding as the Athenians. It’s the equivalent of the Athenians saying, “Well, that wasn’t half bad, but next time we’ll have to really defeat them.”

Still, I comfort myself with the reminder that at least I got further along than Darius did. Xerxes, Darius’s successor, initially cared very little about getting revenge on the Greeks until his ambitious brother-on-law Mardonius began provoking him to rage over their humiliating defeat at Marathon. This led to the Persians amassing the greatest land force in history to meet 300 Spartans at a 50 foot pass at Thermopylae. We all know how that turned out. Hubris: too bad we can never see it before it’s too late.

In other news, now that I have somewhat more time, I’d really like to spruce the joint up a bit. This current blog theme was only supposed to be a temporary hold until I had more time to do a redesign. I find myself wanting to avoid my own blog because I don’t like the look of it. It’s like this blog is my hard-scrabble cousin who lives in a trailer park and sells his own moonshine: I am bound to him by love and affection, but a little too embarrassed to claim relation. So, it’s time for a redesign. I’m definitely open to suggestions.

© 2012, Ithaka Bound. All rights reserved.

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