“Ah, to be naked in Greece
because naked is what we had been…”
Many people who’ve never been to Greece have the impression that its beaches are full of folks running around starkers. While it’s true that most islands have a clothing-optional beach or two, Greeks are religious and socially conservative, and the reality of nudity on the Greek islands is very different from the propaganda.
Some things to be aware of:
If you’re on a beach near the port, or if you see lots of little kids running around, it’s best to take your cue from other people on the beach and remove your bathing suit only if you’ve seen others do so. I once heard a man get an arse-chewing from a British woman for going nude in front of her children on a Greek beach. Many beaches near ports will have a sign specifically forbidding nudity.
When you see people going topless or nude, they probably aren’t Greek, they’re most likely French or German. Again, just something to keep in mind.
Typically, the more difficult a beach is to reach, the more optional your bathing suit will be. I kept a close hold on my Salvador Dali because I was worried that Google Earth would pick that moment to map the beaches of Greece and send my naked pics throughout the stratosphere…
… or that some jerk like me with a camera would sneak some telephoto shots. A woman should always keep a tight rein on any photos flashing her boobies to the world.
A funny thing happens when folks go starkers on the beach: the body loses its sex appeal and becomes just another body among many bodies; it becomes neutral. True, I’m speaking from the viewpoint of my gender, age, and culture – and a 19 year-old boy might beg to differ – but that was my experience of it. In the same way that we can admire paintings of frolicking Olympian gods or Michelangelo’s David without feeling any lust, such is the feeling of being amongst the nude on a beach. It matters little how attractive or not the body is, it’s all just flesh and bone, cellulite or angular joints, with a jiggling appendage here or there. Few things in this world feel as wonderfully freeing as swimming in the altogether on a deserted beach, but, ya know, there’s also something to be said for keeping the mystery intact, especially when it comes to boobies.
Breasts wield an almost godlike power to soothe the savage beast in man. They accomplish this by being soft and jiggly and at least partially concealed. To completely reveal a breast is to pull the curtain off the Wizard of Oz, to shear the hair off Samson, to steal Wonder Woman’s indestructible bracelets. If the timing isn’t exactly right, the breasts might not even register on the richter scale.
Of course, asexual and neutral is exactly how women want their bodies to appear when they’re naked on a beach and surrounded by strangers, so a Greek beach is a good place to do away with all that extra fabric.
The fun public service message below wonderfully illustrates the awe-inspiring power of breasts and why they need to be saved. I think every woman wants to believe that her breasts have left this world a slightly better place.
Have a great weekend!
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