1. Leave a pile of clothes at your last hotel. Do this accidentally, so that you don’t even notice until after you’ve arrived at your next island destination. Make sure the pile of clothes contains all your favorite/most expensive goodies, like the cute terry beach skirt you bought in Nantucket and your Juicy Couture shorts (the only shorts you brought with you, by the way).
Decide that this is a lesson in not becoming attached to material goods. Try not to slap your forehead too many times or you’ll get a migraine, only to discover that you’ve left your medication behind as well. Ask yourself if the last hotel was on fire, and if that’s why you left like you were running for your freakin’ life.
Who wants to look attractive in a country filled with the descendants of Greek gods anyway? You have more important things to think about, like the exchange rate and the death of Socrates. You should work on your personality more.
2. Thirty minutes after arriving at your new destination, forget your Prada sunglasses at the local minimarket where you set them down on the counter. Realize your mistake two hours later, while staring into a white-hot sun, and then pretend that you are Pollyanna or a girl from Wisconsin: go back to the minimarket and ask if they have the glasses. Expect the woman to give you one of those french ‘mah…’ looks, with a wave of her hand and a downturn of her mouth. Marvel at how her mouth contorts and how she avoids your eyes, your plaintive eyes. Leave quickly to avoid bad karma for the next three lifetimes.
Tell yourself that you would have lost them eventually anyway, even though they were the most expensive pair of sunglasses you’ve ever owned and you managed to keep them safe for four years (because they looked so cute). Who knows, maybe someday (if you’re paid in euros) you’ll be able to afford another pair.
Tell yourself that you shouldn’t buy such expensive sunglasses anyway. You should buy €20 ($30) sunglasses that you won’t mind losing or sitting on. For the next three days, resist the urge to go out and buy the most ridiculously expensive pair of sunglasses you can’t afford, simply as a “TAKE THAT!” (edited for my neices and nephews) to the thief.
Resist your vengeful nature.
Or wait for a better exchange rate.
© 2009 – 2011, Ithaka Bound. All rights reserved.
Ohhh Beki. Ohh girl. I’m going to spit-shine my scratched and mangled 4-year-old Gucci’s, place them solemnly on my mantle, and offer up a libation to the Prada gods. Priscila and I will fix this for you, hang tight for a few more days…. buy yourself a straw hat or something to keep the sun out of your eyes.
I absolutely knew that you would sympathize with me on this one. I debated whether or not to mention the Prada, but then I thought, “Sarah will understand.” No worries though, Prada made its way back to me and Greek islanders are the most honest people on earth. Loved the photos of your mancub! He’s getting so big…